GM to all of you nutcases. It’s Crypto Nutshell #964 bringin‘ the news… 🥜

We’re the crypto newsletter that’s more ready to answer the call than a jumpsuit crew who ain’t afraid of whatever’s rattling around your basement… 👻🚨

What we’ve cooked up for you today…

What’s in the Crypto Nutshell Portfolio?

BREAKING: Bitcoin jumps above $81,000 as rates fall, dollar weakens

Yesterday the rally looked out of gas.

A day later Bitcoin is back above $81,000, and crypto barely lifted a finger to get there.

Bitcoin climbed more than 5% in 24 hours, and the spark came from the Fed.

Governor Christopher Waller said he'd be inclined to support holding rates steady if inflation keeps cooling, the clearest hint of a pause after a stretch of hawkish signals from policymakers.

At the same time the dollar sank, its index sliding toward 99 as the Japanese yen surged on a suspected Bank of Japan intervention.

A softer dollar and an easier Fed lift everything at once, so stocks, gold and Bitcoin all caught the same updraft.

A pile of shorts got run over, with roughly $415 million of bearish bets liquidated in a day, $329 million of them in a single hour, as traders betting on more downside were forced to buy back in.

None of this was crypto's doing.

Bitcoin rose on a central banker's sentence and a move in the yen, with nothing crypto-native behind it.

The ETFs did tick back, taking $101 million on Wednesday after Tuesday's outflow, but Ethereum and XRP funds snapped long inflow streaks the same day, so it reads as a one-day bounce, not the ETF bid we've been waiting on coming back.

A squeeze only fires once, and a dollar drop resting on suspected intervention may not hold.

The tank didn't completely refill…

The road just tilted downhill for a day, and the coming jobs and inflation prints will decide how far it rolls. 🚀

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Michael Saylor dropped a stat this week that stacks his company up against the titans of American finance.

He's the Executive Chairman of Strategy, now the largest institutional holder of Bitcoin on earth.

Here's what he posted:

"Total Reserve Capital" is Saylor's own term for the pool of capital sitting behind the business, and these days that pool is almost entirely Bitcoin.

By that measure, he reckons Strategy now outranks every financial company in the S&P 500 except Berkshire Hathaway.

So a firm most people still file under "software" is sitting second only to Warren Buffett's empire among America's financial giants.

How it got there is boring by design: for years Strategy has turned cash, equity and debt into Bitcoin and simply held.

As Bitcoin bounced off the recent lows, the value of that stack swelled the balance sheet past storied banks and insurers.

To be fair, it's a self-coined metric riding an asset this volatile (a balance sheet that swells with Bitcoin shrinks with it too…).

Saylor's shorter posts this week read like a victory lap, telling the bears the bottom's already behind them.

The largest corporate buyer in crypto is still adding scale through the chop, a bid that doesn't much care where today's candle closes.

And it lands the same week retail wallets holding Bitcoin closed in on 60 million (more on that below).

A pile of Bitcoin now sits second only to Buffett among S&P 500 financials, and that does more for the bull case than any price target. 🏛️

Today we’ll be taking a look at the amount of wallets that hold at least some Bitcoin. (anything greater than 0)

This metric offers a bird’s-eye view of user activity and adoption across the Bitcoin network.

But there’s a slight catch…

One wallet does not equal one user. A user can have many wallets.

What matters here is the trend of the chart.

59,855,408 wallets now hold Bitcoin. That’s 169,373 more than two weeks ago (59,686,035).

And that puts 60 million within a single fortnight’s reach.

Another 169,000 wallets opened this period, right in line with the 172,000 added the fortnight before, so the pace is holding near 170,000.

That leaves the round 60 million just 144,592 wallets away, less than one normal print from here.

Last fortnight we said the countdown had started with 60 million around 314,000 off.

More than half that gap is already gone, and at this pace the next update is the one that crosses it. 🤑

Coinbase seeks SEC greenlight to list 24/7 equity perpetuals. Coinbase asked the SEC to let it list around-the-clock equity perpetual futures, extending crypto's 24/7 trading model to US stocks.

Standard Chartered brings spot crypto trading to Dubai FX platform. Standard Chartered became the first major global bank to offer institutional spot Bitcoin and Ether trading in the UAE, routed through its existing FX rails.

Ukraine Busts Kyiv Crypto Drainer Ring Moving Up to $1M Monthly. Police dismantled a Kyiv wallet-drainer operation that used fake Telegram investment ads to funnel EU victims to a lookalike exchange, moving up to $1 million a month.

CFTC files to dismiss CME lawsuit over crypto perpetual futures. The CFTC asked a judge to throw out CME's challenge to its approval of Kalshi's Bitcoin perpetual contract, arguing CME lacked standing and showed no concrete harm.

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Trivia Answer: Locking up crypto to help secure a proof-of-stake network for rewards 🥳

Staking commits your coins to help validate transactions on a proof-of-stake blockchain, and the network pays you rewards in return.

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